LDT 200X

Learning gaps or "professional practice gaps" are common in the practice of Emotional Intelligence.  We learn by example and society has failed to produce enough legitimate modeling of exceptional emotionally  intelligent behaviors for us to learn from.

​

Instead we practice what we see:

1. People getting stressed easily. When you suppress your feelings, they quickly build into the uncomfortable sensations of tension, stress, and anxiety.

2. People having difficulty asserting themselves.  When we feel "wronged" we often default to passive or aggressive behavior.

3. People demonstrating a limited emotional vocabulary.  Some research has found that only 36% of people can accurately identify their current emotional state, which is problematic because unlabeled emotions often go misunderstood, which leads to irrational choices and counterproductive actions.

4. People making immediate assumptions and defending them vehemently.  People form opinions quickly and then only accept information or evidence that supports only their opinion and may argue, ad nauseam, to support it.

5. People holding grudges. The negative emotions that come with holding on to a grudge are actually a stress response. Researchers at Emory University have shown that holding on to stress contributes to high blood pressure and heart disease. Holding on to a grudge means you’re holding on to stress. Letting go of a grudge not only makes you feel better now but can also improve your health.

6. People ruminating over mistakes.  Dwelling too long on your mistakes makes you anxious and resistant to trying again.

7. People feeling misunderstood. This happens to the best of us. Even with practice, emotionally intelligent people know that they don’t communicate every idea perfectly.

8. People lacking awareness around their personal triggers. Everyone has triggers—situations and people that push our buttons and cause us to react impulsively and, more often than not, ineffectively.

9. People who are unwilling to authentically share their emotions.  Constantly masking emotions with happiness and positivity isn’t genuine or productive. This is common workplace practice.

10. People blaming others for how they make them feel. Emotions come from within. It’s tempting to attribute how we feel to the actions of others, but we must take responsibility for our emotions and our reactions.

11. People becoming easily offended. If you have a firm grasp of who you are, it’s difficult for someone to say or do something that gets you riled.

Unlike your IQ, your EQ is highly malleable. As you train your brain by repeatedly practicing new emotionally intelligent behaviors, it builds the pathways needed to make them into habits. As your brain reinforces the use of these new behaviors, the connections supporting old, destructive behaviors die off. Before long, you begin responding to your surroundings with emotional intelligence without even having to think about it.